One year anniversary

A year ago today I had my hysterectomy. I never thought I'd say this, but it's the best thing I've ever done. I feel so much better; no ovarian pains, no PCOS and best of all no more periods!! While it was a long (and quite painful) recovery, I'm glad I did it now. I do take a very low dose estrogen patch and while it works, I'm sure I could still go up a bit (especially since I upped all my other hormones). I still get hot flashes now and then, especially if I'm late in replacing the patch. But I really don't want to go up any higher in my dose. All those worries about cancer and heart issues are always there. One year later and doing great is a pretty awesome place to be tho!!

New Year, New Update

Happy New Year!! OMG, it's been a long time. The end of the year is/was very hectic for me. No excuses tho, I just didn't make the time either. I did want to report after I got back from Seattle in November, but didn't. So here it is.

I was worried over some symptoms I'd been having. Every little symptom brings a worry with it. So I was looking forward to going to Seattle to get things checked and have Dr. L give me his advice. As it turns out, when I thought I was helping by lowering my hydro (it was down to 12.5mg), I wasn't. My thyroid was also a tad low and of course my IGF-1 was still low. All hints to explain most if not all my symptoms. Here's my labs:

Thyroid: 1.12 (midrange was 1.26 and they like to see it up more) So I'm to go from 125mcg to 137.5)
IGF-1: 54 (On .4mg every other day, now I have to take it 5 x a week - this is going to be hard for me)
ACTH: 39 (This is mid range, but top range is like 63 or something crazy. Still worried about this tho)
Cortisol: .5
CST: 1.8 (Ok, so with the cortisol below 1 and CST not budging, I think my adrenals are still sleeping.)

They also tested my electrolytes which they said were normal and aldosterone & renin, which they just said were normal too.

Dr. L put me back up to 20mg of hydro. He wanted to see if that, along with the other med adjustments will help. We'll check again in 6+ weeks. I talked to him again about my ACTH and he says going up to 20mg of hydro may bring my cortisol up and my ACTH down some. He swears it's fine tho (that will always be a worry for me).

Since then I have felt soooo much better. I did have to up my estrogen as well, cuz I started getting hot flashes after about a week on the new doses. But I do feel so much better and have much more energy. I did end up losing about 8 lbs, which is more that I have my energy back more than anything! I think I gained a few of those pounds over xmas eating so much! But I'm working on it again! I have my blood test to check all my new levels at the end of Jan. I also have to do a DEXA scan to see how my bones are.

Other than that, life is good. I enjoyed the holidays with my kids and my husband. I like being the room mom in my daughter's class and getting to know all the kids. I like being part of the PTA and part of the Mom's in Touch group... Not much else is new at this point tho, and hopefully I will post again soon!!

Sorry. Quick update!

Sorry I haven't posted in almost 3 months. I will come back and fix that soon, but for now I'll just give you a quick update. I had taken some bloodwork for both Dr. L and my PCP. Everything is still the same. My cortisol is still less than 2, my ACTH is still too high for my liking, my IGF-1 still hasn't come up to normal range and everything else is "normal."

I'm feeling fine, but still have worries about my ACTH. Can't stop that. Only thing that will help IMO is the CST that will get done in a month. I'm going back to Seattle for my 2 yr checkup Nov 8th. While I'm there I'm going to see the Harry Potter Exhibition. Can't wait - for both things.

I will update all the dates prior to this soon!

Vacation doses

As I write this, I'm at my parents in the Chicago suburbs. We're only here for a week, but it's been a very busy week. We got here last Saturday and are leaving this Sunday. The first few days we were here, I got wicked headaches and just felt tired. When I went with my mom to the grocery store, I used one of those blood pressure machines. Sure enough it was low - 105/50. I know that means I'm low in hydro too. So for the last few days since then, I've taken 17.5mg. (Since I haven't posted in awhile, I should tell you that I upped my dose from 12.5mg back to 15mg. So from that I went up another 2.5mg to help me.) So far it has helped thankfully!

Wednesday we went to Six Flags and I rode on 3 roller coasters. The third coaster was the one that did me in. I rode Superman first (on my stomach w/o any problems), one called the Demon with loops and corkscrews (which left me with a tad headache but it was my daughters first time with loops & corkscrews so I had to go!) and the last one was the Great American Eagle (nothing but hills in that one) and I felt sick to my stomach, weak and dizzy after that one. I ended up taking an additional 5mg after that ride. I'm not sure if it was just the hills or if I had just hit my peak of riding coasters, but it did me in. I had to rest for like 20 min after it too. We finished with the park tho and ended up going to Hurricane Harbor. That was nice and refreshing. But when we got home, I ate 1 piece of pizza, had a half a bottle of water and fell asleep before 9pm CST. I remember my mom coming in to check on me, but I was out of it. Woke up about 5am, went ahead and took my 17.5mg dose and fell back to sleep til about 8am.

Knock on wood, I haven't had any problems since I made sure to take extra hydro this time. I was supposed to go to the city on Thursday, but didn't cuz I didn't want to push it and I was still tired out. My mom and I stayed home while my husband and father took my kids into Chicago. It was ok tho and I had fun as well. Nothing else big is planned and we should be driving back home soon. :-( The emotions will get the better of me, so I'll still take a little extra until I get home, then I'll go back down to 15mg. I'm so happy we were able to come here tho. It was a nice vacation! I'll post some pics when I get home. :)

Pill Glide Spray

Pill Glide Spray This is the newest thing that just popped up on my facebook page from Walgreens. I had to laugh, cuz I have some nasty tasting pills and would love anything to help it go down easier. Seems you spray 2-4 times in your mouth, then take your pills. I don't know. I guess I would really have to hate whatever I take, which I don't just yet. I wonder if it would work on my kids. Then I wouldn't get the "OMG this tastes awful!" after every med they take. They'd have to make a chocolate flavor for my daughter. Hershey could make some $$ off of that for kids! LOL!

Now if I could just get a "Shot Glide" skin spray so my GH shots went in w/o hurting, that would be good! ;-)

One month & One week

Today is my last day of physical therapy for my wrist. My therapist is very impressed with my hand and says I have full rotation back and with no pain! I think I said this before, but it was the easiest surgery and the quickest recovery. (Probably the easiest recovery too!) It only took one month, one week from surgery to recovery. Pretty incredible. I don't have to sleep with any braces on my hands and I can move it ways I haven't in over a year. I'm so happy with the results of this. That makes 2 surgeries I'm happy I did this year!

I do have some weights at home tho, that I will continue to work out with, just to keep the muscles going for awhile. And I still rub the scar every night, just to make sure no scar tissue builds up and stops it from moving so nicely. I also put cocoa butter on the scar to help fix the skin as much as possible. So I'm still "working on it" but for the most part, it's done! Oh and I went back to check out old posts and learned June 24th of 2009, - a year ago!! - I was diagnosed with De Quervain! Amazing how much has changed in a year!!

2 years postop!!!

I still can't believe it's been 2 yrs. I was in surgery at this point 2 yrs ago, getting my poor little pit messed with. But thank God for Dr. M and his surgical team. It took two surgeries, but two must be the lucky number. I'm praying it is anyway.

Let me back track and tell you my symptoms then and how they are different now...

Then: oily hair, oily skin, cystic acne all over my body, fatigue, anxiety, panic attacks, plantar fasciitis on both heels but worse on my right, moon face, sporadic weight gain & weight loss, unbelievably hairy legs (like more than the normal amount of hair that should be on a woman!), hard time falling asleep, becoming a light sleeper, no dreams, hardly peed at all which later I found out was because of edema, and constant headaches. And those are just the ones I can think of at the moment. I'm sure there's more.

Now: I can go without washing my hair for 3 days and it still looks "clean". I have no more acne at all. Now I have the fatigue at the right times - I can get up bright and early in the morning and feel exhausted by 10pm at night. I sleep all night and am back to being a deep sleeper and I have some great dreams! No more anxiety or panic attacks. My heels were better the minute I stepped off the bed in the hospital. I'm not sure if this is because of the Cushings or loss of the other hormones, but I don't have as much hair on my legs and can go a week and a half before it's truly obvious that I have to shave! I am now peeing more consistently and I find when I'm feeling AI'ish in the evening, I actually crave water to drink more which in turn makes me have to get up and pee at night! So no more edema! The headaches are basically gone too except for when I feel AI'ish. And the biggy of all of them.....to date I have lost just over 60 lbs. From a starting weight of 220, all the way down to 158. I have lost countless inches too. The moon face is gone and I can see bones on me that I never knew I had! I'm lovin' it!!! I'm looking for the right pictures to show you to compare then and now, so check back soon!!

The only downsides from all of this is the hormones. Or lack thereof. Having had the hysterectomy because of the issues with the female hormones and possibly GH. Which so far has been the best thing I've done, but I'm still trying to work out all the issues with how estrogen and cortisol work together. I just had hand surgery (and my cast is off yay!!) 2 weeks ago because of a problem again possibly caused by GH. So other than my hydro and thyroid meds, the rest of my meds are still all over the place. Trying to find the right dose is hard, cuz I have to find which of the doses goes best with my other meds. It's not really a big deal, but it can make me feel kinda icky or just blah. I definitely don't have the muscles I used to have. They have all gone away. I've just recently been doing more exercises to try to bring them back. But I see it will take awhile.

But all in all, it's all good and I couldn't feel better. I'm grateful to my family and friends who have supported me through this journey so far. Thank you!! And to my surgery buddies, I hope you are well too!! I'm thinkin' of ya!!!

Six and seven days left...

Six days til I get my stupid soft cast off and seven days til my official 2 yr postop anniversary!

I'm doing good with my cast on, but it's driving me nuts. I get aches and pains, itches and swelling. I just want to rip this thing off already!! But less than a week now and I'll get it off. I cannot WAIT!! I've needed strong pain pills, but not so strong that it wipes me out. I've been talking HALF of my pain pills that my doc prescribed. I take that only at night just to help me sleep. The rest of time I take Advil just to help with any swelling.

I did go to my parents this last weekend and it was an awesome trip. Again the only part that sucked was getting too the plane I had to go through extra security. Now I'm all for helping them know that it's just a simple cast, but do they have to be rude about it?! Going out was nice oddly enough (flew out of Philly) it was coming home that they were rude all around! (flew home out of O'Hare.) But I did it and didn't have too much trouble while I was there. I slept like a baby and it was weird being there w/o my kiddos!! We plan on going back there this summer tho.

I still can't believe I've made it 2 yrs in remission. I praise God every day for getting me this far. I can only hope to keep going. I have my 6 month labs coming up, so we'll know more then. I hate this testing tho, it always puts me into worry mode. I know I just have to do it and get it over with tho. But TWO. What a nice number. But let's go for 3 shall we?! :D

I dont like being a lefty!

Ok, so I had the surgery yesterday for my hand and it went very well. Quick & painless just like I like it. I have a slight ache today, but its all good. Now I just have to keep my arm elevated for 2 weeks and keep the brace on my hand for that long too.

I took 60mg of hydro for the surgery, then 20mg today, then 15 tomorrow, then back to the 12.5 that I was at. So far I've handled it well. No AI or anything. I can see a slight swelling in my face but hopefully it will go back down like it did after my hyster. Well this is all i can type for now, so here's some pics.

May madness!!

I swear this month is turning out to be crazy!! First the communion, then I find out that my hysterectomy scar is coming apart at the bottom of it. I had to go back to my obgyn where he had to seal it off with silver nitrate. All I can say for that was OW. I had to do peroxide and neosporin daily to keep it from getting infected. Not sure why that happened either, but he doesn't think it healed all the way and I just was moving all over.... I dunno.

Then I've been to the ortho finally and am getting my DeQuervain syndrome taken care of. I'm having surgery tomorrow actually. So I won't get to type much for awhile. I don't have much patience and one hand typing just sucks. But it needs to get fixed, as it's in rough shape. I wish I could do the carpal tunnel too, but one at a time. I'll need to wear a brace for 15 days and then I may or may not need physical therapy. I may take it just to make sure I don't lose function. Since I'm still on steroids, it still takes things a little slower than normal to heal. So I don't want to ruin things once the brace comes off.

As far as the hydro, I have decided to wean down to 12.5mg/dailyl. I've been going back and forth with my estrogen patch, when I finally realized it wasn't the estrogen, it was the hydro. So I slightly lowered my hydro, because the estrogen was making me feel cushie. I remember a friend saying that HRT could raise cortisol. So, I lowered it. As soon as my patch needs to be changed, I have to do it because otherwise I start getting AI symptoms. I told Dr. L what I did and he was fine with it. As long as I'm doing it slow, it's fine. If or when I feel AIish, I need to go back up. I've been doing it that way for 2 weeks now and I've felt great. Even lost another 5 lbs. I haven't been in the 150's since I was in high school, but I like it here and hope to stay! If I could have a tummy tuck and lose all the extra skin in my lower belly, I would look even better!! But I won't, cuz the hysterectomy pain was bad and I heard a tummy tuck is worse! So I'll just deal with it! If hubby can stand it, so can I!! :D

Communion Chaos!

I was so nervous for my two today, I couldn't even eat. It wasn't even about me and I was nervous. But the twins communion went sooo well. It was truly beautiful. All the kids looked great, but my two were beautiful/handsome of course!!

We got there early around 11:45am. The ceremony wasn't to start until 12:30pm. Thankfully almost all of the family showed up from both mine and hubby's side. I'm grateful that both my parents and my brother could be here for this, even if it was only for the weekend. It started right on time and the kids did a parade around the church so everyone could see them. It was nice. Then they started on with the mass. The kids singing was great and so dang cute. When the 4 of us went up to receive communion, I thought I was going to pass out. I kept telling myself, that I couldn't handle worrying about something going wrong, so just deal with it. I went with the flow and managed to get the communion bread down my throat. YAY! We had done it! My kids did it! Then the priest started talking about how we held them when they were baptized. And now we could only hold their hand as they make their way in this world. I cried. I'm such a sap.

Then it was over and I had a photographer come and take a bunch of pics for us to help remember the day. I am so happy she was able to be there and do this for us too, cuz as you see, we got some great pictures!!!

Sorry!

I haven't posted in awhile, cuz I've been so crazy busy! This time of the year is insane. My twins birthday, trip to Hershey Park, Easter, Field day at school, and now the kids communion. When I do have the free time, it's not enough to sit and write anything (like now). But I promise after this weekend I will come and catch everyone up on what's going on with me. I'm still doing good tho and that's all that counts!! : )

For now I'll leave you with a pic of me and my son at their skating party! : )

Ok, I went back and added some posts for my kids bday and our Easter weekend if yer interested!

Easter craziness!!

This has been a busy, busy weekend! On the spur of the moment, hubby decided to surprise the kids and take them to Hershey Park. Except they had to figure out where we were going w/o us telling them. And we made a stop at the Lititz Pretzel Factory too, where the first hard pretzels were made. That was cool and the pretzels were awesome!

Then we took off to Hershey. Kids still had no idea. They knew we were in PA, but had no idea where we were going. Finally quite a few miles outside of Hershey, the kids saw a sign on the road that had a few towns and how many miles away they were and then Hershey at the bottom that said 10 miles. My son saw it first and looked of at his sister and screamed "we're going to Hershey Park!!!!" They were sooo excited!! We got there on a Friday night and ended up going to the park for the last hour. They let us in free then if we pay for a next days pass; which of course we did. It was quite a bit of walking but I was out cold when we got back to the hotel. And that was just an hr or so of walking! I was worried how I was gonna make Saturday when we were there all day!

Saturday came and we got out early. We let the kids ride any rides they wanted to and could. Then my daughter said it. "Can you ride a big roller coaster with me?!" O.M.G. I hadn't ridden a big roller coaster since I got married. And now since my pit surgery, I wasn't sure I could do it! But I felt I had to, cuz my hubby is afraid of heights and wouldn't do it with her! So I found a roller coaster that was just an up and down one with a couple big hills. I tried to explain how she was going to feel, but it's one of those things you can't describe, you just have to do it. And so wee did. I was soooo nervous and she was sooo excited!! I had brought my hydro for afterward JUST IN CASE. But we rode it, I managed not to puke on the ride (or off) and I was sooo happy for both of us! To be there and do it with my daughter; and after all I'd been through. I did have to sit and rest for about 5 minutes afterward. I was weak and lightheaded and contemplated taking the hydro, but didn't. Figured I was fine. I started walking again and we went off to find hubby & my son who were elsewhere in the park. It was time for lunch and NOW I needed to eat something.

I was fine the rest of the day. Even the next day when we decided to go to Indian Echo Caverns to see stalagtites and stalagmites, I was fine. And we had come home and had our Easter celebration with the family and I was ok. But by day two, once we were home a full day, I felt SICK. I got the runs (sorry for TMI) and I just felt weak and nauseous. I upped my hydro by 5mg and slowly felt better. By the next day I was ok, but still took it slow.

I think the craziness of the weekend got the better of me, but I believe the coaster was when it really set it all off. But I had a great time and I can't wait to go back!!!

Happy 8th bday my beautiful twins!

Can't believe they are 8. And I swear for my daughter it's 8 going on 12 and for my son it's 8 going on 5. I can definitely see a difference now. But here comes those hormones. It's one thing to deal with them with me, but another to deal with them with my daughter. I know this is just the start of things too, but I will keep my eye on them and jot everything down to see if I pick up any cushie symptoms. I pray not tho.

The kids had a good party tho. It was a roller skating party. They just learned to roller skate last summer and we just found this roller rink when Em went there for Brownies in the fall of last year. Coincidences...I don't know. But they had so much fun and it was so inexpensive compared to all the other "party" places. All I had to do was bring the cake and do the invites. They got to skate for 2 hrs as well as have pizza or a hot dog and soda/water. I loved skating as a kid, so I got out there too. I had as much of a blast as the kids did and even was racing them and their friends. I was worried about being worn out the next day, but thankfully I wasn't!! Such great exercise, I wish there was a rink closer!!

The kids didn't get to have a big family party, it was just me, hubby and my mom this year. My nephew has his baptism the same weekend and all the family went to that. But the kids did make out pretty well. Got a bunch of DS games and the one big gift from hubby & myself was a Hamster. Happy the Hamster. He's cute, but doesn't seem to like people yet. He's only 3 months old. Overall a very good birthday for the kids I think!!

Oh I forgot, Friday night, Emily had her father-daughter dance with her brownie troop. Hubby spoiled her and 2 of her friends by getting a limo for them all to take. So we got them all dressed up and off they went. Talk about a fun time!!

Last of my hysterectomy postop posts! (7 wks!)

I was going to post my 6wk postop msg last week, but I knew my gyno appt was today. So I waited. Then I'll make this my last one about the hysterectomy and concentrate on my life in general and dealing with the aftermath of the Cushings.

I went in for my appointment and I knew I was getting an internal today. I hate even thinking about it, cuz it's so uncomfortable & knew it would hurt. I was pleasantly surprised when it didn't hurt! It was still uncomfortable don't get me wrong! But he said everything was good and healing well and the rest of my restrictions are lifted! I'm so happy!!! So back to really exercising and getting back in shape for summer! And my hubby will be most appreciated of the other restrictions that were lifted!! :D

I'm feeling good tho overall! Still having some gas issues here and there when I eat or drink too fast or when I eat something that is in itself gassy. Hopefully that will continue to work itself out. I have also had some slight cramping and doc says that's still all the healing going on inside. But nothing that will slow me down thankfully!! No med adjustments needed as everything is as it should be and no extra symptoms thankfully!!

I forgot to ask him at my last appt, but remembered this time to ask about the endometriosis. I had it since I was 16 and had to have my first laproscopic surgery to remove it. We even thought the cyst on my ovary this time was due to an endometrioma. It wasn't, but he did say there was some endometriosis on my uterus. He said it was rather a small amount too. I was so happy. I know that I will fight that still, as endometriosis lives off of any estrogen the body makes, so as long as I'm on HRT, the endo will live. But unfortunately, I cannot live with the menopause symptoms. I guess if I had to because of cancer I would, but it would be hard. Those hot flashes & night sweats are EVIL. I'm on the lowest dose of HRT on a patch and I feel fine on it. So for now it's ok.

As far as the rest of me, I'm doing good! My mom is coming into town again and I'm really looking forward to seeing her again. It seems like no time passes when she's here, but I really missed her after this surgery. This was probably one of the only surgeries she has not been there with me. I know it was hard on her and wanted to be here for my hysterectomy. But it all worked out and now she gets to come and enjoy being with the new uterus-less me and my children (who next week will be EIGHT years old!! OMG!!).

So bring on the Spring - I'm ready!!! :)

Pit surgery post - 21 months postop!!

Today it's been 3 months shy of 2 yrs since my pit surgery. Unfortunately, I still struggle with things here and there and will for the rest of my life. Balancing hormones is like walking a tightrope. Lean too far one way or another and everything goes wonky and crashes and ya have to start all over. So far so good tho. My only challenge since my hysterectomy is my thyroid; but I'm working on that tho.

My only other issues is restless sleeping. It's not quite insomnia, cuz I can fall right sleep and get up just fine in the morning. It's the part in the middle. I just cannot get comfortable. A few weeks ago, I could understand that, but now I'm not sure. I just toss & turn. Some days are better than others. I'm hoping it's just my thyroid, but of course I have to think the worst. So I'm gonna have my PCP run all my hormone levels for me.

Otherwise, I just keep truckin' on. I'm doing more in general, out there shopping, playing in the snow and enjoying my time with my kiddos. Life is good. :)

5 week postop

Just wanted to post a quick update. Nothing too new going on other than MORE SNOW. Blah. I didn't get out this week to do my blood tests because I've been sick. Went through my whole family this stupid cold.

Other than that, I'm feeling ok. Better than the last few weeks. Actually doing more and more. I even got out to shovel the driveway and I was ok!! One more week and I'll be given permission to actually exercise and can get moving on my new summer body! I forgot to mention in my last post about my weight after my appt that I'd lost 11 lbs since I'd been there in December! That's a big cyst!! I just want to keep it off. I think once I can balance my thyroid, hopefully more will come off. We'll see once I can get those blood tests done! Hopefully this week, but we'll see.

4 weeks postop!!

This week has been a tough week. I've had some different healing aches & pains and the evenings are hard since I'm so bloated. They call it swelly belly, because the insides swell from all the walking and working out it gets. It's not quite healed yet and so it gets swollen, making me look bloated. And if I feel bloated and have even eaten dinner yet, it makes for a small dinner. I had a banana for dinner yesterday.

Today tho, I had my 4 wk checkup. No internal thankfully, just an outside look at my incision. (No internal til my 6wk checkup.) He said my incision looked great tho! I can continue to increase my activities, but still no lifting, exercise or sex. All ok with me, cuz I have no energy to do any of them. My infection seemed to have gone away - finally too. I'm doing ok overall, just little things still holding me back.

The last of those things holding me back is my thyroid. I'm having a blood test done next week to see if my thyroid is off. I think it is. But the symptoms are similar to menopause. So we'll see. I just want to feel better and better!!

3 weeks postop!

I'm slowly and surely doing better. My muscles are still sore, but not as sore as last week. Hopefully the GH is finally kickin' in. I've been on the antibiotic for quite a few days now and I still feel that ache in my bladder when I pee. If I still feel it by Monday, I'm gonna call the doc and tell him the med is not working.

I'm doing a lot more walking tho and even went out again to play with my kiddos in the 2ft of snow we got this week. Well more walk than play anyway. Probably not helping my muscles but it was fun. Kids had off school from Wed thru today due to all the snow and for it taking forever for the plows to get through our town. But that's ok by me, it was all fun! I'm still in resting mode but feeling better each day. Hoping it continues! :) Now I'm off to watch the Olympics. Go USA!!!

Sure enough I did have an infection

Bladder infection that is. I called doc earlier to let him know I was gonna reschedule my appt with this next big snowstorm coming. So now it's next Friday. But he called me right back telling me he got my urine test back and sure enough, I did have an infection. Uhm. Hello! It's been a week! I thought I was getting better, cuz it didn't hurt as bad. He still wants to treat it. So on antibiotic I go.

I'm really feeling the low GH now too. My muscles are just sore. I've been taking my GH for the last 2 weeks, but I guess my levels are so low it's gonna take awhile to get back up there. But ouch. Now that I'm walking more, I can really feel it. So I'm still moving slow due to that and my stomach. Oh well. More time is needed to recover!!

Two Weeks postop!!

I've hit a milestone for this recovery! Every 2 weeks it gets better and better. And I can definitely tell that I'm getting better. I'm walking more and am now doing stairs more! Last night was my first night in my own bed. Before then I stayed downstairs in our den, where our sofa bed was. I still felt like I tossed & turned a lot, but I slept ok. I'm still having crying jags here and there, but overall I think I'm doing good. I know this is a long recovery in the overall, but I'll take every little bit I can. I have an appt with my gyno this week so he can see how I'm doing. Hope he thinks I'm doing well too! :)

Happy Birthday to me!!

If you watch 'Suite Life on Deck' you'll get this next London moment... "Yay me!!" hehe! And I thought the picture of me here would be funny to show cuz it's all my kids Webkinz helping me celebrate my birthday! LOL Think they have enough?!

I had a pretty good day today. Pain stayed at bay thankfully. Besides the Webkinz fun, my kids made me an awesome card and hubby got me a great card too! I also got a snuggie, tickets to a Carrie Underwood concert & a Maid for a day. Very exciting! And for my 37th year, I'm gonna do big things. I'm gonna try things I haven't done before. I need to make some changes and I just need to start LIVING.

So here's to 2010! May it be better from here on out!!! :D

Another day, another pain

Sorry about the long post yesterday. I wasn't sure where to stop. So I figured me coming home was good. But I wanted to also talk about the day I got my stitches out. OMG. I was worried. How can ya not be?!?! I have a scar from my belly button down to my pubic bone. It's big and there were a lot of stitches. My skin was all pulled up together and I swear with the stitches in, it looked like little toes on my stomach. I was concerned it would look bad after the stitches came out. THANKFULLY I was wrong.

But he lifted, clipped and pulled TWENTY-TWO stitches!! I was doped up on Vicodin too and I still felt each one. There were a few that weren't bad. The others...OUCH. Once it was all done tho, my stomach looked 10 times better. It was all flattened out. So it wouldn't heal bad!! Yay! It felt so much better after they were out!

Now the only pain I have with it, is under the skin. Towards the end of the day it's worse. It cramps and pulls and it hurts. I can feel my stomach on top of it. After I eat, it's painful for a little while, but then goes away. Then comes the gas. I swear if it's not one it's another.

My only complaint at this point is peeing. (sorry tmi) It hurts when I go. My bladder just isn't happy to be in it's new spot. I'm seeing the doc tomorrow and peeing in a cup to rule out a bladder infection. I kinda hope that's it, so at least it can be fixed and stopped! It's painful! Can't wait til all the pains just stop!!

Taking it day by day

Sorry I haven't posted sooner. It's been hard to get on the computer at all. This recovery is ten times harder than the recovery from pit surgery EVER was. I'm 10 days postop and I'm still in pain. I can't sit straight up and I can't stand in one place for more than a couple minutes. I have to be slow getting in and out of bed and I still can't bend or lift anything bigger than a gallon of milk. I lay in a recliner most of the day and you would think I could get on the computer. But I can't lean anything on my stomach and it's hard to type otherwise. Even now I'm leaning, so I have to keep moving from side to side to stay comfortable and not in pain.

So lets go back and I'll go through my surgery and the days in the hospital.

We had to be at the hospital by 5:30am on Friday the 22nd. That meant driving by 5am because it was in downtown Trenton and about 20min away. We got there a little after 5:30. Because I registered a couple days before, I didn't have to worry about that. They finally brought me back at about 6:30am. I changed and they took my temp/blood pressure and put in the IV. I was getting the nervous/cold shivers at this point. I was so scared. Scared that it was cancerous, scared that something would go wrong, scared that I'd have an AI crisis, and overall scared about what to expect postop.

I'd read and did all sorts of research. Keep the ovaries or don't. Keep the cervix or not. I decided to take it all. I had had endometriosis since I was 16. I also had PCOS. But it seems like I had a case of Cysts Gone Wild, because one of my ovaries had a giant cyst on it, 12+cm, yet benign thankfully. And that's what they were taking out. Because I am also panhypopituitary (all my hormones aren't working anymore) my other ovary wasn't working anyway. I have been in menopause, since my pit surgery. So was it worth it to keep it? Knowing that the same thing could happen to the other ovary and I'd have to go through this again anyway? So I chose to just take it all out. As much as I wanted more kids, it wasn't gonna happen. So this was the definitive answer.

Anyway, back to my surgery. It wasn't til about 7am or soon thereafter that they came to get me and take me back to the OR. They wheeled me away and thankfully we didn't have to go far. Soon after I went from the bed they wheeled me in on to the operating table, they gave me my 100mg of hydro & something to relax me. It's like I was floating. It didn't seem like soon after that, that they put the oxygen mask on me and told me to take deep breaths. I think I only took 2 or 3 breaths and then I was out.

Next thing I remember, I was in recovery and felt the searing pain in my stomach. I pushed off the oxygen mask and tried to tell them how much pain I was in. My mouth was so dry it didn't come out that way. But finally they got the point and gave me Dilauded and handed me a button & told me to push it whenever I felt pain. I didn't understand for awhile, but eventually it kicked in! I also had a catheter then too. I was glad they didn't put that in beforehand. One less pain to worry about. I don't know how long I was in recovery. A couple hrs maybe? Eventually they took me to my own room. It was small, but it was nice. I seemed to have good nurses and of course I had my pain button. I slept a lot and vaguely remember hubby coming in talking & then leaving. I know the doctor was there and the only thing I heard was that it wasn't cancer.

Saturday I woke up in more pain that I was the day before. The only difference, the pain meds don't help gas pains. O. M. G. That was truly worst than anything I've felt. It was in my shoulders and it felt like I couldn't breathe. So they took the catheter out and told me to try to get up more. It was hard to get up. It took me a few hrs, but by the end of the day I was doing short walks up & down the hallway. It was the only thing that gave me even remote relief. And that was along with taking Mylicon & GasX. It was hard to walk because the pain on my incision was burning. And of course I didn't want to pop a stitch. I was in tears tho, the pain was so bad.

Sunday morning I woke up and the pain was somewhat better. The nurse overnight gave me some hot tea with Ginger Ale mixed in. It didn't taste great, but I think that helped. The gas started moving after that thankfully. My friends came to see me that afternoon and that helped take my mind off things. Then hubby brought the kids there too. I did more walking and tried to keep moving more as well.

On Monday, they said I was doing so well I was gonna be released. I actually slept all night w/o waking up in pain. I just had to pass a bowel movement. *sigh* I've always had this problem after surgeries. Every single one has ended in a suppository; why should this one be different. And of course it wasn't. I did get to take a shower too and thankfully I managed to do it on my own and didn't need a nurse watching over me. That's always so uncomfortable. In any case, I left the hospital at about 1pm. It was weird to come home and I was sooo tired. I had the sofa bed on the main floor to crawl into and I slept most of the afternoon & evening. The kids were happy to see me too. I hate being away from them.

Since then I've literally been in bed or the recliner. The pain comes & goes and I take the pain meds as needed. I don't have a full appetite yet but it's ok. I'm just taking it day by day. :)

Home & in pain!

OMG this was worst than my pit surgery by far. No complications tho and all good news in the end.

But I'm home, propped up on a bunch of pillows in bed. I think I'm just emotionally wiped and that's normal for having everything removed. But I still get tired very easily. As much as I want the stitches out, I dread it. Getting those out Thursday. I'm just doing the bare minimum right now.

But there was no cancer thankfully and the it was just the left ovary COVERED in cysts which actually made it one giant cyst (12+cm actually). They said it was just larger than a grapefruit, but smaller than a canteloupe. They took that out and everything else. I'm just taking it day by day. My incision is from my belly button down to my pubic bone. And it just HURTS. Not as much as it did a few days ago, but still. And that gas pain is brutal!!

But I'm ok and I can only do things a little at a time, so for now I'll leave it at this. Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes and texts and visits and gifts. It's truly appreciated!

Night before surgery...

Twas the night before surgery and all through the house,
the kids were playing nicely & hubby is watching House.
My bag is all packed and I'm ready to go!
Hope I didn't forget to tape my favorite show!
I'm nervous and worried but hoping for the best.
Soon this will be over and I'll get a lot more rest!

Ok, well it's not much but it made me think of that as soon as I typed the title in. hehe! I have to be at the hospital at 5:30am. Yikes! And poor hubby!! So that means surgery is about 2 hrs later than that. So I should be under the knife at about 7:30-8am. The surgery is about 2 hrs long, so I should be done by 10ish. This is of course the best case scenery and nothing goes wrong, which is all I'm going to think of.

I got my hair cut today, finished up all my errands and I think I'm ready to go and just get this done. Praying that I have good nurses and that nothing else goes wrong before, during, or after. So that's all I ask for. Good thoughts and/or prayers. I will be home on Monday and hopefully will post back then and let everyone know all the gory details. : )

Crazy week of worry!

I have sooo much stuff to do before Friday. All last minute things of course. I can get it done. I just have to!!

Just wanted to go back a minute tho. From my post about being sick last week. As it turns out, I believe I had food poisoning. I had McD's for lunch the day before I got sick. It seemed late that I got sick, so I don't know. It could've been anything, but that just seems like the most likely cause. Either way, it will probably be awhile before I ever go back.

I was sick for 3 days after. Nothing more than just feeling low; light-headed, dizzy, and just overall icky. I didn't eat much as that twang of nausea was still there waiting. I had my preop on Friday and I still had a slight temp then too. Told the nurse what happened tho and she said it would be ok. I had blood & urine taken, EKG & chest xray done. Pretty normal I guess. I made sure the nurse that registered me put everything down that I asked her to regarding my meds and whatnot. She was soooo nice, she talked with me for over 45 minutes!! She also confirmed with me that this was routine and that I would be O - K. :) That helped some.

Then Friday afternoon I went to see my gynecological oncologist (GO). He didn't think it was cancerous either as I guess the tumor/cyst is very proportional. There's no blood flow to or through the cyst, so he too thinks it may be endometriosis. So I'm thinking more positively. If it is cancer, it's very very early, but no one thinks that, so it's good. One thing that threw me off was that he wanted to do an internal. I was not expecting, nor was "ready" (if you girls know what I mean) for this. I was so embarrassed. But he said everything was fine and he felt it would be a quick operation - in and out - and I would be fine. He did ask about children and to make sure I wanted everything and I said yes. He said it was a good decision, but he does like to make it our decision. He was nice.

So now I wait. And wait. Friday is the day and I don't know what time yet. Hopefully early. I have to call on Thursday between 2:30 & 5pm to see when they've scheduled me in. My MIL will be here to get the kids to and from school and get them fed & whatnot. Hubby will be with me. He does have to work Saturday morning, so that worries me that I won't have anyone there, but hopefully I'll sleep til he gets there. Then I will be back home sometime on Monday.

Trying not to worry or be scared, but it's hard. But it's the waiting that's the worst!!

AI truly sucks....

24 hours ago, I've never felt so bad. I probably felt that way after pit surgery, but at least I had anesthesia to keep me from really feeling it. I don't know what happened, as it just came out of no where. It happened in the middle of the night. I woke up about 2am from a nasty little nightmare. I was shivering cold and could not get warm. Then all of a sudden I had to go to the bathroom. I barely made it to the bathroom cuz I was so weak & woozy. Sure enough (TMI sorry) I had diarrhea. I knew right then and there I was going into AI. I called to hubby to come give me my hydro quickly. I took 10 in hopes that would help. I felt sick to my stomach tho and was sure I was gonna get sick. Thankfully I made it back to bed. Hubby also said I was burning up. Sure enough I had a fever of 101. He gave me some tylenol as well. Then I slept til about 6am before it happened all over again. I swore I was gonna pass out getting to and from the bathroom. I took another 10mg of hydro. I went back to bed and slept again. Got up again at 8am. Took another 10mg after barely returning from the bathroom. Slept again til about noon. I was feeling ok by then and finally ate some toast & part of a banana. I was still weak & felt like I couldn't get up and walk. My fever went down to 100, then 99. I slept on and off the rest of the day. By the end of the day, I took another 5mg and I could make it down the hallway and back but was still weak. I wasn't sure I would sleep at all last night since I'd slept all day.

Thankfully I did. I slept through the night and didn't have to go to the bathroom once. I managed to get up this morning, took 20mg of hydro, took a shower and get dressed. I took the kids to school and they were so good, I didn't have to get out of the car. I parked across from where they get out and let them go alone. They did so good. I waited til they went in their classrooms. Now I'm home sitting in my chair resting. I have to go get my films from the radiology lab for my appt tomorrow. Then I'm back home til I have to get the kids.

Whatever this is, needs to go away asap. I can't be sick before surgery. I need to get this thing out of my stomach. I can't lay on my stomach or my back cuz it hurts too much. So I've managed to get through this AI and I can get through this surgery!

Such a cry baby

I swear I'm crying over everything!!! And not in a depressed sort of way, but in a sad that things are changing so drastically. I hate change.

My gynecological oncologist appt got pushed back to the 15th. So more waiting I do. I'll also have to have my presurgery tests done this next week too. So I still wait and I still cry over things that just make me see "change."

I went to my daughters brownie meeting the other night to watch her get "pinned" and I started crying. Not cuz it was a great moment, but the fact that where we were was in the middle school where I had all my twin club meetings. They were 6 months old then and I used to imagine them running down the halls when they were 12 and all... But all of a sudden it hit me that they were going on 8 yrs old and how far we've come from those little baby days. No more babies for me. :( Now of course I knew this since my pit surgery, but having a hysterectomy is sooo definitive. I think I've said that before. I'm saying it a lot now, cuz it just IS. But it's what I have to do. This will be a good change. I hope.

There I go....crying again.

Happy New Year!!

Sorry I didn't post back right away. We were away, then coming home for the New Year... It's been crazy.

Anyway, doc called and said the blood test was slightly elevated. The high level of normal was 34 and mine was 36.4. He still thinks it could be endometriosis, cuz everything else is normal. Having been through Cushings, I know nothing "normal" is always good either.

So in any case, I will be having a full hysterectomy - including uterus, ovaries & cervix. They will do all the testing/biopsies that need to be done and if there's a malignancy, they will go in and take out my appendix and oomentum too. (Breeding grounds for cancer as I've been told.) They will do a vertical incision in my abdomen and I'll be in the hospital for 3 days. I'm scared crapless. And the last few weeks w/o my estrogen & GH have been pure hell. I'm emotional about pretty much everything and in pain at the same time. In fact, I've cried about being in pain. hehe!

I'm trying to be positive and know this is for the best and in the end it will be better. But it's such a definitive measure. I have to talk to the gynecologic oncologist next week and I'll get his 2 cents on all this too. I hope he's nice.