Waiting to make the call...

For some reason I'm getting nervous again. I haven't been nervous and I've been distracted, but now - knowing that I'm gonna talk to my doc tomorrow - I'm nervous. Please help me pray that things are negative. I just want this out of me and for that to be it. Nothing else. Is that to much to hope for?

Merry Christmas!!

Everything is going well here and the kids are very happy with what Santa got them! Me too in fact!

Quick update tho - doc hasn't been in the office, but I've now had an u/s, blood test for cancer markers and and MRI. Now I just wait to hear back from the doc on the blood test & MRI. Praying everything is fine and it's just a normal cyst that they can take out and be done with all this.

My family & I are visiting with family and I won't get to hear from the doc until Monday. Lovely.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL & TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!!

Pelvic Mass

Those are big words, wouldn't you say? Doesn't sound good either. Nothing like a good worry for the holiday season.

Well that's what my ob/gyn told me I have. I had my annual checkup and during the exam, he asked me if I was pregnant. I said no. I was VERY sure of that. He said my uterus was as big as if I was 16 weeks pg. I was shocked. I told him I had no idea. I had no symptoms whatsoever. I haven't had a cycle since before pit surgery, so I have nothing to go by there. I was actually coming to tell my ob/gyn that I needed to adjust my meds again, cuz I have was having some "sex" problems. I thought I might need to add testosterone, since that was the only hormone I wasn't replacing. He said that was the least of my issues right now.

So tomorrow (Monday morning) at 10am I have an ultrasound. I guess it will give us an idea of what it might be and how big it is. I am VERY nervous/worried. I did go buy an OTC pg test just to make sure, since he didn't test in the office and sure enough it was negative like I thought. So tomorrow hopefully I will find out one way or another what we are dealing with. If I have to have any type of surgery, I am scared. Only my mom really believes this whole Cushings ordeal and she'll have to help make sure I get the right doses before, during and after any new surgeries. It's really the last thing I want to think about. *sigh*

I'm trying to be positive and we really had a good weekend with all this snow we got. Playing in the snow with my kids and then drinking hot chocolate by the fireplace with my family. It was nice. So a few prayers or well wishes would be appreciated for tomorrow! I'll keep ya posted!

18 months and counting!!

Can't believe it's been 18 months. Amazing! And I'm still doing well too! I've even noticed some things that didn't stick out before. Like bruises. I never used to get bruises. Everyone said that was one of the signs of Cushings, but for me it wasn't. As it turns out, I think when I got a bruise, I had so much cortisol in my body that it helped keep the inflammation down. Now, however, I get a bruise and it goes away normally. I always keep watch to see how long they last (cuz again the longer they last is a cushie thing) and it seems like they go away pretty quickly. I was even scratching my back against the door the other day and my skin turned all red! That never happened before either! I guess now my skin could be more sensitive or the cortisol just isn't there to help. Either way is ok with me.

My husband noticed the next thing. He said even tho I eat "bad" things, I don't eat a lot like I used to. Like my body has a true craving and when it's done, it's DONE. I couldn't eat a whole bag of chips or candy or anything now. I have what I want and I'm done with it. My portions in general are just smaller. I'm listening to my body a bit more and can tell when I'm just full.

I'm actually hoping for xmas to get a Wii Fit. I'm hoping that will help with the whole exercise thing. I'm not good at it during the winter months. When it's nice out, I'll go for a walk. During the summer I'll swim til my hearts content. During the winter months when it's too cold or too rainy....uhm... Well, lets just say I'm not moving much. I have some exercise videos, but it's not the same. I'm hoping one of the wii exercise games will be more helpful and keep track of my workouts. Give me a goal to shoot for. :) I'm about 25 pounds from what my weight should be for a "normal" person my height. Don't get me wrong tho, I'm ok with what I look like now. But it would be ok to get down a little more and really just to work out my muscles.

Since I can't take a larger dose of the GH, I really have to work out my muscles to keep them from disappearing on me. And believe me, I can feel that they aren't all "there". So we'll see what "Santa" brings for me in....ACK!! 22 days!!! Guess I should get shopping myself eh?!