Home & in pain!

OMG this was worst than my pit surgery by far. No complications tho and all good news in the end.

But I'm home, propped up on a bunch of pillows in bed. I think I'm just emotionally wiped and that's normal for having everything removed. But I still get tired very easily. As much as I want the stitches out, I dread it. Getting those out Thursday. I'm just doing the bare minimum right now.

But there was no cancer thankfully and the it was just the left ovary COVERED in cysts which actually made it one giant cyst (12+cm actually). They said it was just larger than a grapefruit, but smaller than a canteloupe. They took that out and everything else. I'm just taking it day by day. My incision is from my belly button down to my pubic bone. And it just HURTS. Not as much as it did a few days ago, but still. And that gas pain is brutal!!

But I'm ok and I can only do things a little at a time, so for now I'll leave it at this. Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes and texts and visits and gifts. It's truly appreciated!

Night before surgery...

Twas the night before surgery and all through the house,
the kids were playing nicely & hubby is watching House.
My bag is all packed and I'm ready to go!
Hope I didn't forget to tape my favorite show!
I'm nervous and worried but hoping for the best.
Soon this will be over and I'll get a lot more rest!

Ok, well it's not much but it made me think of that as soon as I typed the title in. hehe! I have to be at the hospital at 5:30am. Yikes! And poor hubby!! So that means surgery is about 2 hrs later than that. So I should be under the knife at about 7:30-8am. The surgery is about 2 hrs long, so I should be done by 10ish. This is of course the best case scenery and nothing goes wrong, which is all I'm going to think of.

I got my hair cut today, finished up all my errands and I think I'm ready to go and just get this done. Praying that I have good nurses and that nothing else goes wrong before, during, or after. So that's all I ask for. Good thoughts and/or prayers. I will be home on Monday and hopefully will post back then and let everyone know all the gory details. : )

Crazy week of worry!

I have sooo much stuff to do before Friday. All last minute things of course. I can get it done. I just have to!!

Just wanted to go back a minute tho. From my post about being sick last week. As it turns out, I believe I had food poisoning. I had McD's for lunch the day before I got sick. It seemed late that I got sick, so I don't know. It could've been anything, but that just seems like the most likely cause. Either way, it will probably be awhile before I ever go back.

I was sick for 3 days after. Nothing more than just feeling low; light-headed, dizzy, and just overall icky. I didn't eat much as that twang of nausea was still there waiting. I had my preop on Friday and I still had a slight temp then too. Told the nurse what happened tho and she said it would be ok. I had blood & urine taken, EKG & chest xray done. Pretty normal I guess. I made sure the nurse that registered me put everything down that I asked her to regarding my meds and whatnot. She was soooo nice, she talked with me for over 45 minutes!! She also confirmed with me that this was routine and that I would be O - K. :) That helped some.

Then Friday afternoon I went to see my gynecological oncologist (GO). He didn't think it was cancerous either as I guess the tumor/cyst is very proportional. There's no blood flow to or through the cyst, so he too thinks it may be endometriosis. So I'm thinking more positively. If it is cancer, it's very very early, but no one thinks that, so it's good. One thing that threw me off was that he wanted to do an internal. I was not expecting, nor was "ready" (if you girls know what I mean) for this. I was so embarrassed. But he said everything was fine and he felt it would be a quick operation - in and out - and I would be fine. He did ask about children and to make sure I wanted everything and I said yes. He said it was a good decision, but he does like to make it our decision. He was nice.

So now I wait. And wait. Friday is the day and I don't know what time yet. Hopefully early. I have to call on Thursday between 2:30 & 5pm to see when they've scheduled me in. My MIL will be here to get the kids to and from school and get them fed & whatnot. Hubby will be with me. He does have to work Saturday morning, so that worries me that I won't have anyone there, but hopefully I'll sleep til he gets there. Then I will be back home sometime on Monday.

Trying not to worry or be scared, but it's hard. But it's the waiting that's the worst!!

AI truly sucks....

24 hours ago, I've never felt so bad. I probably felt that way after pit surgery, but at least I had anesthesia to keep me from really feeling it. I don't know what happened, as it just came out of no where. It happened in the middle of the night. I woke up about 2am from a nasty little nightmare. I was shivering cold and could not get warm. Then all of a sudden I had to go to the bathroom. I barely made it to the bathroom cuz I was so weak & woozy. Sure enough (TMI sorry) I had diarrhea. I knew right then and there I was going into AI. I called to hubby to come give me my hydro quickly. I took 10 in hopes that would help. I felt sick to my stomach tho and was sure I was gonna get sick. Thankfully I made it back to bed. Hubby also said I was burning up. Sure enough I had a fever of 101. He gave me some tylenol as well. Then I slept til about 6am before it happened all over again. I swore I was gonna pass out getting to and from the bathroom. I took another 10mg of hydro. I went back to bed and slept again. Got up again at 8am. Took another 10mg after barely returning from the bathroom. Slept again til about noon. I was feeling ok by then and finally ate some toast & part of a banana. I was still weak & felt like I couldn't get up and walk. My fever went down to 100, then 99. I slept on and off the rest of the day. By the end of the day, I took another 5mg and I could make it down the hallway and back but was still weak. I wasn't sure I would sleep at all last night since I'd slept all day.

Thankfully I did. I slept through the night and didn't have to go to the bathroom once. I managed to get up this morning, took 20mg of hydro, took a shower and get dressed. I took the kids to school and they were so good, I didn't have to get out of the car. I parked across from where they get out and let them go alone. They did so good. I waited til they went in their classrooms. Now I'm home sitting in my chair resting. I have to go get my films from the radiology lab for my appt tomorrow. Then I'm back home til I have to get the kids.

Whatever this is, needs to go away asap. I can't be sick before surgery. I need to get this thing out of my stomach. I can't lay on my stomach or my back cuz it hurts too much. So I've managed to get through this AI and I can get through this surgery!

Such a cry baby

I swear I'm crying over everything!!! And not in a depressed sort of way, but in a sad that things are changing so drastically. I hate change.

My gynecological oncologist appt got pushed back to the 15th. So more waiting I do. I'll also have to have my presurgery tests done this next week too. So I still wait and I still cry over things that just make me see "change."

I went to my daughters brownie meeting the other night to watch her get "pinned" and I started crying. Not cuz it was a great moment, but the fact that where we were was in the middle school where I had all my twin club meetings. They were 6 months old then and I used to imagine them running down the halls when they were 12 and all... But all of a sudden it hit me that they were going on 8 yrs old and how far we've come from those little baby days. No more babies for me. :( Now of course I knew this since my pit surgery, but having a hysterectomy is sooo definitive. I think I've said that before. I'm saying it a lot now, cuz it just IS. But it's what I have to do. This will be a good change. I hope.

There I go....crying again.

Happy New Year!!

Sorry I didn't post back right away. We were away, then coming home for the New Year... It's been crazy.

Anyway, doc called and said the blood test was slightly elevated. The high level of normal was 34 and mine was 36.4. He still thinks it could be endometriosis, cuz everything else is normal. Having been through Cushings, I know nothing "normal" is always good either.

So in any case, I will be having a full hysterectomy - including uterus, ovaries & cervix. They will do all the testing/biopsies that need to be done and if there's a malignancy, they will go in and take out my appendix and oomentum too. (Breeding grounds for cancer as I've been told.) They will do a vertical incision in my abdomen and I'll be in the hospital for 3 days. I'm scared crapless. And the last few weeks w/o my estrogen & GH have been pure hell. I'm emotional about pretty much everything and in pain at the same time. In fact, I've cried about being in pain. hehe!

I'm trying to be positive and know this is for the best and in the end it will be better. But it's such a definitive measure. I have to talk to the gynecologic oncologist next week and I'll get his 2 cents on all this too. I hope he's nice.