Running on fumes

Sorry I haven't posted in a few days. It's been very emotional and crazy to say the least. This hormone stuff has finally hit me hard. I didn't even see it coming. I thought I was doing well, but I guess I was just dealing with all the side effects without knowing and they just got worse. That's why I'm glad I have this journal. I can see now that the exhaustion and the aches were big symptoms.

I've learned I have panhypopituitarism. Which basically means because of the pit surgery, all my hormones that the pit makes are not secreting enough for me to function "normally" causing me to have all these nasty symptoms. That includes - Growth Hormone, Thyroid, Female Hormones, and ACTH. I'm finally on Synthroid for the thyroid. I ended up taking the 150mcg that Dr. L wanted me to take. I'm only on day 2, but so far no issues. I haven't upped my cortisol yet, but will if I feel I need it. I want to see how this makes me feel first. If the thyroid dose is too high, I'll cut the pills in half. If I feel AI, I'll up my cortisol.

I'm also taking HRT to up my estrogen. It's a patch and I only have to worry about it once a week. Now I just have to find a place to get my GH stim test done. Then they can put me on growth hormone meds too. Hopefully once all those are working well, I'll feel better. Hopefully.

I've cried a lot over the last few days. I've even wondered if this is worth it. But it doesn't matter now and I have to deal with what I was given. I'm not dying of Cushings anymore and I can control my own hormone levels. There could be worse things. For now I'm just going to log my symptoms day to day until I feel "regular" again. I don't know if I'll ever be "normal" so I'll take what I can get.

Symptoms prior to Friday: Hot flashes, no periods, loss of libido, fatigue, headaches, aching/sore/swollen knees and muscles, and overall weakness.

Symptoms I recently noticed more obviously now: Hair loss & thinning (I had thin, fine hair to begin with so this is just bad), depression, difficulty concentrating and memory lapses, mood swings, anxiety, and cold intolerance.

I think those symptoms were there, just not as pronounced as they are now. All part of this hormone imbalance. I just need this all to even out, because as of now, I'm running on fumes. It seems my body got off "track", but now I'm back on track - just out of "gas." So I'm giving myself some meds (gas for the car) to up my energy level so I can manage through a very crazy holiday season. That on top of kids in school who are bound to come home with illnesses. It's going to be a long season. . .