As you've seen from previous posts, I get nervous when I start to have symptoms that may be similar to Cushings. I think most of those symptoms were due to me being off all female hormones. I've now been off those particular hormones for a good 6 weeks now. I feel good, a hot flash here and there, but otherwise good. My numbers came back low, so I expect to feel some deficiency symptoms here and there. But overall I feel good.
I'm still confused on the GH symptoms as I feel worse on it than off. I have to call Dr. L again soon to get my IGF-1 tested again. My carpal tunnel is just so bad, even on 3x a week now. I hope to God it's not permanent. Hubby keeps telling me to have the surgery done to relieve it; but I don't want to go there. Yet.
In any case, I wanted to share some new pictures. And my most recent thoughts about it. First of all, I have lost 35+ lbs and many more inches. I need ALL new clothes. I'm not a shopper at all, so I don't know where to start! I used to shop at Avenue, where it's all size 14 on up. But NONE of those clothes fit me. They were too big!! As it turns out, I'm down to a size 10/12 now. I don't think I've been that size since I was a teenager!!!!! My husband was telling me I was barely a size 14/16 when I met him!! Scary.
In any case, so last week I went to the store. I went to the misses aisle, but felt really WEIRD being there. Like there's a fat girl, searching in the misses dept. I picked up a few shirts, a few shorts and then there were the bathing suits. Oh geez. Bathing suits were the death of me in the last few years. Hated trying them on, hated to see what they looked like. But for some reason, I started looking at bikini tops. Could I?! Could I pull it off?!?! Nooo.... Maybe... So I grabbed two that I liked and tucked it between all the shirts and shorts. Didn't want anyone seeing this fat girl taking something that wouldn't dare look good on her. I was truly that embarrassed. But I tried everything on in the dressing room. Some things fit and some didn't. I left trying the bikini tops on for last. But I did it. The first one...ehh...maybe it doesn't look bad! The second one....wow. I just had to stand and look at myself for quite a few minutes. Is that really me in the mirror!?!? I actually liked it. I thought it looked ok on me. Now my bottom half is not as "nice" as my top half, so I just stuck with buying the top. I'll wear my bathing suit skirts that I have that will match as well. So I walked to the check out, and paid for all the stuff I wanted. I even got red when the lady checked out the bikini top.
I took everything home and tried on the top again. And again when my kids got home (aren't kids really the most honest people!?) and then again when hubby got home. Here's what they saw... And then of course the sideways pic...
Ok, so now that I've posted it, please share your thoughts. Don't get me wrong, I still have "love handles" I need to work on. And I still have the extra skin around my belly button from my twin pregnancy. It gives me something to work for tho (for the things I can work on). I like this person I see there. I may not be that fat girl on the outside like I was before, but unfortunately, I may always feel like it on the inside.
3 comments:
Kay, honestly, you look great. I never looked that good in a bikini top. Given time you will get used to your new size.
Soon, you can buy the bikini bottoms too!
You look great! Cushing's is not just physical. It's mental and emotional too. We have a lot of things to work out after Cushing's, on so many levels. It's one twisted disease! Congrats on all of your progress! I can't wait until I can shop in the small section. I know what you mean. I feel weird walking in there, just for my girls! LOL!
Hugs!
Thanks guys!! This disease has played such havoc, it's hard to think "normally."
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